It's that time of year again. The time when we all resolve to improve ourselves. This year I've actually put a bit of thought into it and have come up with 10 resolutions. (I love me a top 10 list, if you haven't noticed by now.) Without further ado ...
1. Do at least one thing every day to find a job. Okay, it's now been six weeks and change since I got laid off. I have applied for one job so far. And it wasn't even really a job. It was one of those things where they didn't have an opening at the time, but the company sounded cool and they had a link where you could upload your resume for "future openings." All through December I used the excuse that no one hires during Christmas time because they're too busy with holiday and year-end stuff. No more excuses. Time to get cracking. I have 10 weeks left until my severance runs dry. I vow to do something every day to move my search forward, whether it's applying for a job, updating my resume, researching a new company, etc. Monday through Friday that will be my job. I'll allow myself weekends off. And I'll start Wednesday, because tomorrow's a national holiday.
2. Read at least 50 books in 2019. Back in high school this would have been on the low side. I've slacked since those days. I can't have read more than 20 books this year. 25 tops. Somewhere along the line I got hooked on Mahjong Titans. What an absolute timesuck. This is a two-part resolution: stop wasting time on computer games and pick up a book. (Clarification: This doesn't include legitimate video games on the PS4, which are still allowed. This resolution is only about time-filler games on the computer. If somewhere someone over the age of 70 is playing that same game, that's the kind I'm talking about.)
3. Always remember to feed Diafol. The vet recommended feeding Diafol twice a day, in the morning and around dinner time. He was sleeping when we went out Saturday and I forgot to fill his bowl. Got home late, fell asleep around 1:00, was woken by the anguished, echoing screams of a famished kitten at 2:35. As were Drew and Brittany. I was on the triple shit list. Brittany offered to create a feeding checklist for me. I think she was only half kidding. I don't really want to give her the satisfaction of stealing her idea, but it probably couldn't hurt. Maybe I'll make one myself and keep it in my room.
4. Publish another book. The emails I used to create the first book were only a fraction of the cyber exchanges of years gone by that I've held onto. While sales haven't exactly skyrocketed me onto the NY Times bestseller list yet, I'm encouraged enough not to give up. Besides, I have a bit of time on my hands. I'm going to work up another draft, picking up where I left off at the end of The First World Problems of Jason Van Otterloo, at the point where Janice and I moved to Icicle Flats. What a crazy year that was. So many suppressed memories. I'll never run out of things to talk about with my therapist now.
5. Run a 5K. You wouldn't know it to look at him, but Alec is a devoted runner. He's training for a half marathon in San Diego next month. He runs 10K and 5K races around here at least once a month. He challenged Laurel and I to join him for a 5K around Green Lake this April. I resisted, initially. Laurel did too, until her third beer when she not only committed to it, but commenced with the trash-talk. Halfway through her fourth drink, she guaranteed she'd finish ahead of Alec. She claimed she was misquoted the next time we all went out, until Val played her the video on her phone. For the record, I did not trash talk anyone and will be happy to not finish in last place.
6. Blog at least once a week. Yeah, when I started blogging again back in October it was like I couldn't stop posting stuff. Now ... well, it's been a busy time of year. Plus I actually have a social life again. And Mahjong. Sigh. Okay, no more excuses.
7. Gain 10 pounds. Weight goals are the most common New Year's resolutions according to an article I read on the internet (which means it must be true). My goal is less common. Since I got laid off I have dropped six pounds. Without a designated lunch time I just kind of forget to eat some days. It will be dinner time and I'll look back and realize all I've had all day was two cups of coffee. I was already on the thin side to start with. Laurel kids she's worried about me walking outside on windy days. Alec said in the wrong light I look like a heroin addict. I'm targeting 155 as my ideal weight. I can do this.
8. Not make fun of Shane's music. The Bruno Mars and Maroon 5 were bad enough. Then I caught him playing Post Malone. What an absolute No Talent Ass Clown. But ... it's his music. He's 13 and he'll probably improve his taste as he gets older. I mean, I didn't listen to shit like that when I was 13, but he's not me. Plus, as Laurel put it, harshing on his tunes only makes me sound old.
9. Learn all the words to The Stone Roses. Speaking of music, every time I've ever been in Laurel's car, the only album she's ever played is The Stone Roses (by The Stone Roses). She claims to have 3,000 songs on her mp3 player, but she never, ever switches it up. She'll quote random lyrics anywhere, any time for any reason. "We're under the ship so get me over," or "Here he comes, got no questions got no love," or whatever. Sometimes if you think hard enough they kind of tangentially tie into what's going on. I figure if I learn all the lyrics I can beat her to the punch once in a while.
10. Drink more. Okay, hear me out on this one. Most people make a resolution to stop drinking or at least cut back. I haven't had a drink since college. I didn't stop because I was an alcoholic or anything. I just didn't want to turn into Rob. But now that we seem to wind up at Olaf's at least once a week, it seems like it would be more fun to socially join in with Laurel, Alec, and Val. Plus I'm dying to see their expressions the first time I order a pint. Of course, they might be disappointed to lose their default designated driver.
Okay, check back in 365 days and see how these came out. Until then, Happy New Year, and best of luck with your own list.
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